Why I Created Smileys Community: A Personal Story From New York to Istanbul

Why Did I Create Smileys Community?

People have asked me this question countless times.

“Nate, why did you create Smileys Community?”

And interestingly, I haven’t always given the same answer.

Sometimes I say it’s about bringing people from different cultures together. Sometimes it’s about helping expats make friends, creating opportunities to socialize, or making Istanbul feel more welcoming to newcomers.

All of those answers are true.

But there’s another reason, a much more personal one, that I haven’t talked about very often.

It goes back 25 years, to a morning in New York that I will never forget.

September 11, 2001.

What I witnessed that day, and what I decided to do afterward, shaped the way I think about friendship, belonging, and the importance of community.

And recently, after what happened to Tetiana here in Istanbul, I found myself thinking about it all over again.

This is one of the reasons I built Smileys Community.

September 11, 2001 — A Day I Will Never Forget

I was living in New York on September 11, 2001.

That morning, I was commuting from home by train when I witnessed a plane crash into the World Trade Center. Later, I was only a few blocks away when the Twin Towers collapsed.

Some memories from that day have never left me.

Firefighters rushing toward the burning towers, some of whom would never return home.

A Hasidic Jewish man praying in the street, facing the collapsing buildings.

A woman crying so loudly that I can still remember her.

The following day, New York was a different city.

Everywhere I looked, there were photographs of missing people.

Their faces were posted on walls, street corners, shop windows, and wherever there was space. Families and friends were desperately searching for loved ones who hadn’t come home.

Each photograph had a name. A face. Someone waiting for an answer.

I remember seeing those pictures all over the city.

Behind every one of them was a family hoping that someone would recognize the person they were searching for.

The buildings had collapsed, but for thousands of families, the uncertainty was only beginning.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about the firefighters I had seen rushing toward the towers the day before. Some of them were now among those who would never return home.

I witnessed fear, grief, courage, and humanity in a matter of hours.

And through it all, I was thousands of kilometers away from my family.

When something terrible happens, your first instinct is often to turn to the people closest to you. But when you’re an expat, those people may be in another country.

You can have a home, a job, friends, and an established life abroad, yet suddenly realize how vulnerable you are when everything around you changes.

That day taught me something I’ve never forgotten.

Being independent is one thing. Having people you can depend on is another.

I Didn’t Stay Silent. I Started Bringing People Together.

After September 11, I could have simply continued with my life, trying to put the experience behind me.

But I wanted to do something.

I knew I couldn’t be the only Turkish person in New York feeling the uncertainty and isolation that can come with living far from home.

So I built a community to connect Turkish people living in New York.

This was in the early days of online communities, long before Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp became part of everyday life.

The idea was simple: help people find one another, make friends, share information, and build relationships they could rely on.

I wanted newcomers to feel welcome and people who had lived abroad for years to know they weren’t alone.

Because a community shouldn’t exist only when everything is going well.

It should matter when life becomes difficult, too.

I didn’t realize at the time that this experience would shape something I would still be doing 25 years later.

From New York to Istanbul

Years later, I found myself building another community, this time in Istanbul.

Smileys Community brings together expats, digital nomads, international students, and globally minded locals from different countries and backgrounds.

On the surface, we organize language exchanges, dinners, hiking trips, social gatherings, cultural activities, and other events.

But those activities have never been the ultimate goal for me.

They’re opportunities for people to meet.

What matters is what happens afterward.

Do they become friends? Do they find people they trust? Do they begin to feel at home in a city that was once unfamiliar?

I’ve always believed that a community’s value isn’t measured only by how many members it has, but by the relationships those members build.

You can know hundreds of people and still feel completely alone.

Real friendship is something deeper.

And recently, we were reminded just how important those connections can become.

Tetiana’s Tragedy Brought Everything Back

One of our Smileys Community members, Tetiana, recently lost her home and personal belongings following a building collapse in Maltepe, Istanbul.

Another person affected, Alexandr, was also part of our wider community.

Imagine suddenly losing the place you call home.

Your clothes, your possessions, your memories, and the everyday things that give you a sense of security.

Now imagine facing that situation in a foreign country, without your family nearby.

When I heard what had happened to Tetiana, I thought about my experience in New York.

The circumstances were very different, but I recognized the vulnerability of being far from family during a crisis.

I knew we couldn’t undo what had happened.

But I also knew we could help.

When People Show Up for One Another

After we shared Tetiana’s situation, members of Smileys Community began reaching out.

Some offered temporary accommodation. Others offered clothing, household items, donations, or help finding a permanent home.

People contacted us simply to ask what they could do.

Together with Cenk, Laura, and Nour, we formed a small coordination team to help organize the support.

What meant the most to me wasn’t any particular contribution.

It was seeing people from different countries and backgrounds come together for someone who needed help.

Some knew Tetiana personally. Others barely knew her.

Yet they cared enough to act.

And helping someone through a tragedy isn’t only about the immediate response.

Tetiana will need time to rebuild her life. Finding a place to live, replacing what was lost, and recovering a sense of normality don’t happen overnight.

The real test of a community isn’t only how it responds during the first few days of a crisis, but whether people continue to care after the initial attention fades.

We cannot solve every problem, but we can make a difficult situation less lonely.

The Question Every Expat Should Ask

When people first move abroad, they usually focus on practical matters.

Where should I live? How do I find a job? How do I learn the language? Where can I meet people?

Those are important questions.

But after years of living abroad, I believe there’s another one we should all ask ourselves.

If something happened to me tomorrow, who could I call?

Not who would like my Instagram post.

Not who would join me for drinks on Friday.

Who would actually be there?

Someone who might accompany you to a hospital because you don’t speak the language.

Someone who could offer you a place to stay.

Someone who would check on you when you’re sick or struggling.

These are the relationships that make a foreign country feel like home.

And they don’t happen automatically.

They take time, trust, and effort.

Sometimes they begin with something as simple as a conversation at a language exchange, a shared dinner, or a weekend hike.

You may attend an event just to meet a few new people and end up finding a lifelong friend.

That’s what makes bringing people together worthwhile.

We Cannot Replace Family, But We Can Build Something Meaningful

One of the hardest realities of expat life is missing important moments back home.

Birthdays. Weddings. Family celebrations. Illnesses. Funerals.

Sometimes you cannot be there, even when you desperately want to.

And sometimes, when something happens to you, your family cannot be there either.

No community can replace the people we’ve known and loved all our lives.

But we can create a circle of people who care about one another.

People who notice when someone is missing, who reach out when someone is struggling, and who offer help without expecting anything in return.

This doesn’t mean everyone in a community has to become close friends.

It simply means recognizing that behind every profile, every RSVP, and every person attending an event is a human being with their own story.

Some are new to the city. Some are lonely. Some are going through difficulties nobody else knows about.

A little kindness can make an enormous difference.

Why I Continue Building Smileys Community

Running a community isn’t always easy.

There are disagreements, misunderstandings, cancellations, organizational challenges, and plenty of frustrating moments.

Sometimes I wonder why I spend so much time and energy bringing people together.

Then something happens that reminds me.

Tetiana’s situation was one of those moments.

It reminded me of the Turkish community I built in New York after September 11, and why I started connecting people in the first place.

Today, Smileys has grown into an international community with thousands of members and activities across different interests.

But growth alone isn’t what makes me proud.

What matters is seeing friendships develop, newcomers find their place, and people support one another.

I don’t want Smileys to become just another events platform where people sign up, attend, and disappear.

I want it to be a place where genuine relationships can grow.

Where people feel welcome, respected, and included.

And where, when someone is going through a difficult time, others are willing to help.

A Message to Everyone Living Far From Home

If you’re an expat, an international student, a digital nomad, or simply someone who has chosen to build a life in another country, there’s something I’d like to share.

Don’t wait until something goes wrong to build meaningful friendships.

Get involved. Meet people. Make an effort to connect beyond small talk.

And if you’ve already built a strong circle of friends, remember that someone who just arrived in your city may be experiencing the same loneliness you once felt.

Invite them for coffee. Introduce them to your friends. Check on them.

Don’t underestimate the importance of small gestures.

You never know what someone else is going through.

And don’t wait for a tragedy before offering support.

A strong community is built through everyday kindness, not only during emergencies.

Twenty-Five Years Later, the Purpose Remains the Same

On September 11, 2001, I witnessed something that changed my understanding of life and the importance of human connection.

I remember the firefighters heading toward danger, the man praying in the street, and the woman crying.

I remember being far from my family.

And I remember deciding that I wanted to bring people together rather than simply carry on with my own life.

That decision led me to build a Turkish community in New York.

Today, in Istanbul, the people and circumstances are different, but the purpose remains the same.

I cannot change what happened on September 11.

I cannot undo what happened to Tetiana.

But I can take something from those experiences and try to make a positive difference in other people’s lives.

If Smileys helps even one person feel less alone in a foreign country, then the time and effort we’ve put into building this community has been worthwhile.

We come from different countries, speak different languages, and have different backgrounds and beliefs.

But we all need friendship, compassion, belonging, and people we can count on.

That’s why I started bringing people together all those years ago.

And that’s why I continue doing it today.

Because home isn’t always where you were born. Sometimes, home is where people show up for you when you need them most.